Shoulder-ing On: Carmen's Post-Op Spectacular!

Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together (but maybe not over your head) for the latest update on our word-fumbling wonder, Carmen!

Breaking news from the frontlines of Fort Hospital: Our star patient has emerged victorious from her shoulder showdown! That's right, folks – Carmen has officially joined the "I Got a New Shoulder and All I Got Was This Lousy Hospital Gown" club!

I just got off the horn with the maestro of the operating room, Dr. Schlimmer. (Side note: Is it just me, or does his name sound like a rejected Bond villain? Dr. No? More like Dr. Shoulder!) Anyway, the good doc reports that Carmen passed her surgical test with flying colors. She didn't even need to phone a friend or use a lifeline!

Now, here's where it gets interesting. Remember how we thought this was going to be a regular ol' shoulder replacement? Well, plot twist! Dr. Schlimmer, in his infinite wisdom (and probably after consulting his Magic 8 Ball), decided to go REVERSE! That's right – our Carmen is now the proud owner of a reverse shoulder replacement. It's like she's doing the hokey pokey, but just with her shoulder bones!

Why the switcheroo, you ask? Well, apparently, Carmen's rotator cuff was pulling a disappearing act worthy of Houdini. So, factoring in her... ahem... "vast life experience" (because a lady never reveals her age, right?), the doc decided that going reverse was the way forward. It's not just a shoulder replacement; it's a time machine for her mobility!

Oh, and let's not forget the nerve block. Carmen's arm is probably feeling number than we do during tax season right now. But hey, at least one part of her body is getting a vacation, right?

Now, we play the waiting game. Carmen's taking a little siesta in recovery for the next hour and twenty minutes. I'm picturing her dreaming of all the "Nexflex" shows she'll be able to watch one-handed during recovery. Maybe she'll even invent some new Carmenisms while she's under the influence of the good stuff!

Stay tuned, folks! The next episode of "Shoulder She Stay or Shoulder She Go" will be coming to you live in about 80 minutes. Until then, keep those shoulders loose and those laughs coming!

Remember: A shoulder to cry on is nice, but a reverse shoulder to laugh about? Priceless!